Italian Men v American Men

“Where you from?”

“Ciao Bella!”


“WOW” (shouted from a fourth story balcony down the street)

If you are American and a female, there is a 95% chance you’ve had an Italian man yell one of these things at you. While this may sound flattering, it is normally the 50 year old looking you up and down so fast you think his neck might snap; or the not so cute friend coming at you with his tongue out (yes that actually happened.) It doesn’t matter if you’re all dolled up or you look like Smeagol crawling up the Lonley Mountain in The Lord of the Rings, they will still shower you in compliments and offer to take you out to drinks or dinner or both.

The other day Megan and I had just gotten off our 17 hour flights-  which basically means 17 hours since we brushed our hair or teeth or had seen the deodorant stick that was wedged at the bottom of our bags- and decided to go to dinner as we were. Since we were stuffing our faces at 4pm we were the only ones in the restaurant (god bless the general public who missed us shoving our faces like savages). I kid you not- in our less than presentable state- we were ushered to our table like royalty and given free desert by the handsome waiter whose pants fit him a little too tight. And then on the way out the owner gave us hugs and called as “bellisma.” Now if that isn’t a confidence booster I don’t know what is. Crusty mascara and all we were able to get free desert! Something like that would never happen in the states…

Now picture this all too familiar scene:
It’s 6pm on a Saturday night, you are getting ready for ladies night or perhaps a night out with your man. You’ve spent an hour on your hair, an hour on your face, and maybe even splurged a third of your paycheck on that new dress at Anthropolopy. You feel like a million bucks, and you look like a million bucks.
Well honey, I hope you FaceTimed your mom before you left the house because getting a compliment from a male would be like wishing for snow in San Francisco. Those 2 hours you spent getting ready went right over their heads.
PS. Getting  cat-called by the fraternity boy who just finished his 12th shot, or the homeless man holding a sign that says “compliments for $1” doesn’t count.

And don’t get me started on if you actually don’t try… Literally there’s always someone who will say something.
insert sarcastic voice
“Wow Karen did you do something different with your face?”
“Yeah, I forgot to put it on, thanks for noticing Tom!”

These problems don’t exist in Italy. If anything you’ll come back from Rome thinking your Gigi Hadid’s twin if you stay too long!
I don’t know if it was how these Italian men were raised, or if there’s something in the water but American men could use a glass or five.

If you’re a male in America reading this right now go tell Jennifer or Susan that she looks nice because it will make her Wednesday!

Now if you’ll excuse Megan and I were about to get asked “where you from” for the sixth time today.


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